Trust The Process

Too often in life we focus on results. We focus so much on results that we lose sight of the point of our actions. In the moment, we invest too much into one event that it either discourages us, or paralyzes us completely with anxiety. Well, I’m tired of it; I rather trust in the process.

The process is the steps toward the goal — the actions you need to take for the outcome you want. In life, there are tons of events that can happen, and there are tons of opportunities we wish to be prepared for. These outcomes, even the opportunities, are not under your control, but one thing is definitely under your control — the actions you take.

Anytime you put the effort in, you get valuable feedback. You learn, you grow, you improve. Eventually, you’ll accomplish your goal, or be ready for the opportunity when the time comes. But, that requires patience, bravery, and most importantly confidence. Confidence to take the steps even if it fills you with anxiety. Because, the way to the goal has no shortcuts. The lessons can only be learned in the arena of life, where your process can be tempered, improved, and eventually bring you to your goal.

Single Point

To those who praise talent for achievement, praise skill. To those who praise skill, then look at effort. The moment when achievements come to fruition are not the result of a days work, but in a decade. The passage of time rewards concentrated effort; divided attention leads to smaller impact. If you wish to achieve your purpose, remember that it all returns back to a single point.

Are You Good Enough For Your Goals?

How does one person push beyond their limits? As we move through this world, a lot of us want to grow. Growth, however, is an uncomfortable process, because we’re no longer within our comfort zone. That’s a tough situation to be in, therefore here’s an incentive — a way to look at out our goals. Are you good enough to achieve your goals?

That question is an important question to ask; it calls for introspection on our part, and self-assessment. A lot of us like to make goals and grandios plans with little assessment of our current skill level. The result is usually being crushed under the weight of our grand ideals before we even take a few steps. The remedy for this is a bit of rational introspection.

The things we’re capable of now become the basis for our future goals; everyday the reality gets closer to the potential. Of course, this is only if we push ourselves to reach that level. But, to craft that level of skill, we need a plan on how to reach that point to answer that question of: “are you good enough?” It’s going to take patience, time, effort, hardwork, and pain to answer that question; you have to look inside yourself everytime you prompt that question.

I think it’s important to remember then, that to forge your own path, you need to have a plan. You may not know where that path leads, or be able to see that far in the future, but we can at least make a plan for the present to get the skills we need; we can prepare ourselves for any opportunity that comes our way.

The Real Win

Everyone has the capacity to win in a game, at an event, or a competition. But I think there is a deeper win in life that comes with a higher standard  or goal; that is winning with our performance.

In any game, we must perform. But, this performance is not only linked to games. Any work that we do applies this principle. Therefore, we can start winning in our work by improving our performance — by improving ourselves. The people who adopt this strategy will reach greater heights, because their true goal goes far beyond the task at hand; they begin looking at the world from a different perspective. Their body and mind becomes the tool to achieve their success. Self-improvement becomes the real goal, and the work that they complete becomes the test results for how far they’ve come. Always strive for improvement.

Expanding Mental Limits

Everyone has limits they place on themselves. Mental blocks that prevent them from making the moves they want in life. We can, however surpass these limits. There are core tenants surrounding these limits.

Yes, limits are created in the mind, but they are usually shrouded in fear of the unknown — uncertainty. But, that fear in most cases is the mind’s first response mechanism. But, perceptions can be fatal, and are usually constructs of our own mental disposition forced upon the situation. It is a limited way to interpret the world. But we can break those mental limits.

We can use our rational mind to interpret things as they are without perceptions. This allows us to take a clear look at reality, and see things for what they truly are. We can break down the mental blocks and use to our advantage. The truth will set you free, because the truth — the reality, is something you can impact. After, we can try to use our perceptions to understand someone else’s disposition, or about the situation at hand. Using both is key, but never let perception be your first response to the world. Otherwise, you will remain blind to the truth we all curiously seek.

Beyond The Mountain

For a lot of us there are many obstacles that we face everyday. Obstacles that stare us down, and challenge us to take them on. For those who take on these obstacles, and finish them. They either come to a realization or are consumed by another force.

The great powers gained by those who climb to the top of the mountain, aka beat the obstacle, are rewarded. But, here is where a choice is made. Beyond those obstacles are more obstacles. “Beyond the mountain, lies another mountain.” You can choose to use your new powers for the obstacles, or stay where you are. However, remember that within you, is your birthright for innovation, and a drive for self improvement. We wouldn’t be here as the human race without it.

Obstacles

Obstacles are a great thing. They create a bar of entry for people who want to join in. They also create value for you, by providing difficulty. Much needed difficulty in a world where you can coast through life. But, let’s imagine for a moment if things were easy (there were no obstacles).

If things were easy, where your greater desires, your greatest accomplishments could be achieve in no time at all. I’m sure you’d be happy for a short time, but your greatest accomplishment/desire would be a short lived triumph. Why? If things were easy, anyone could accomplish what you just did. That’s a huge problem; anyone could accomplish your goal with minimal effort. In essence, you’re no longer valuable for your skills. If you believed you were unique; it would be shattered to pieces from that realization. But furthermore, the lack of difficulty would make it all the less special. Difficulty has it’s own important place in our lives.

When you give it some thought, difficulty defines the value of many things in our lives. So, when things are difficult, we learn more, grow more, and explore who we are. So, next time before saying things are too hard when you meet that obstacle, smirk, and embrace the strenuous opportunity to develop into the best you.

Back To Basics – Creating The Man Before The Gentleman

There is a blog I frequent called the “Art Of Manliness.” This blog mainly focuses on the classical manliness that was a part of our culture in the 19th and  20th centuries. After coming into my awareness, the quote “You have to be a man, before you can be a gentleman”, makes a lot more sense.

As the human race pushes forward, everyone wants to define their own form of masculinity — one that includes themselves in most cases. Men want to know they’re men, and rationalizing the attributes to fit themselves helps. Why? I think the issue is because, they feel they must fit more than one role in society today. And so, he begins to tag excess attributes on to manliness to fit all the roles he perceives he needs to play. These attributes to fit his identity, but as a result, cause confusion in his attempts to simplify what a man is. After much thought, I don’t think this process is necessary — at least not for me.

In essence, the son becomes a man once he strives to better himself, for himself (independence). His creations by design service his inner creativity; subject to criticism from others, but continues on the path he’s chosen for himself. Feelings and virtues in his adolescence that have yet to be changed by external forces. He’s on an adventure, by himself, adapting, and as a result becomes more independent. Fostered through challenge and experience, a character that refuse stagnation. Self sacrifice is not the mark of a man, but the survival of all he holds dear (including himself) is the key; he is not expendable. The “gentleman” is just the chivalrous sugar over the raw character, that can be easily switched off.

Growing into Awareness, Becoming A Better Man For Me

After reading “The Rational Male” by Rollo Tomassi, my long time views were shaken and turned into an awareness. I won’t say it completely helped me understand women in terms of interpersonal relationships, but rather the framework of their mind in terms of finding a partner/spouse. Judging from the book title, that may be strange, but let me explain.

In short, the underpinnings of women’s strategy for finding a mate changes as she ages. In her 20’s she likes confident, going, strong males — think rock-star or biker gang member. Later on, around 30, she wants security in her relationship, which the rock male, may never provide. So, she turns to the provider male, the “white knight” — potential geek in high school, the nice guy, who wanted to appease her with kindness, and unrelenting love. All of these things are subconscious to her, and she may not know she’s doing this; for me I’ve seen it in my everyday life. This has led me to a fundamental change, a shift in my understanding — awareness which I will detail now.

This “awareness” has prompted me to not live for others, but for myself and my values, even more so than before. the way women love may be fundamentally different from men, a harsh reality to consider. But, this fundamental complementary love, drives men to greater heights in their own ambitions. That is where I stake my claim — to fundamentally shift towards a life of self improvement for me. Any potential women who comes along, is not my center point, but complementary to my life — as it should be. The awareness I’ve gained may have destroyed old fantasies of the one girl who will love me unconditionally, but it has firmly placed me as the ruler of my own soul. I will not compromise my self worth for any potential spouse as a result; my first priority is my own ambition.

Burden Of Performance

As much as I’d like to, and I’m sure you’d like to, you can’t escape performance. The old idea that you have to work to eat comes out in spades. You may think that you could possibly opt out of performing, but that’s simply not the case. For man, performance is a part of who you are; you have to perform in your work, social life, love life. Improvement is your friend, and number one partner. But, that can be an incredible burden.

Performing requires energy, time, effort, maybe some blood and sweat. However most importantly, it costs you time, and part of your life. The rewards, whether they’re failures or success are both equally important, and make you a stronger person. The burden won’t stop trying to pull you down, but it’s turning you into a better person bit by bit. You can choose to opt out if you’d like though. No one will blame you, except yourself.