After reading “The Rational Male” by Rollo Tomassi, my long time views were shaken and turned into an awareness. I won’t say it completely helped me understand women in terms of interpersonal relationships, but rather the framework of their mind in terms of finding a partner/spouse. Judging from the book title, that may be strange, but let me explain.
In short, the underpinnings of women’s strategy for finding a mate changes as she ages. In her 20’s she likes confident, going, strong males — think rock-star or biker gang member. Later on, around 30, she wants security in her relationship, which the rock male, may never provide. So, she turns to the provider male, the “white knight” — potential geek in high school, the nice guy, who wanted to appease her with kindness, and unrelenting love. All of these things are subconscious to her, and she may not know she’s doing this; for me I’ve seen it in my everyday life. This has led me to a fundamental change, a shift in my understanding — awareness which I will detail now.
This “awareness” has prompted me to not live for others, but for myself and my values, even more so than before. the way women love may be fundamentally different from men, a harsh reality to consider. But, this fundamental complementary love, drives men to greater heights in their own ambitions. That is where I stake my claim — to fundamentally shift towards a life of self improvement for me. Any potential women who comes along, is not my center point, but complementary to my life — as it should be. The awareness I’ve gained may have destroyed old fantasies of the one girl who will love me unconditionally, but it has firmly placed me as the ruler of my own soul. I will not compromise my self worth for any potential spouse as a result; my first priority is my own ambition.
Lambda's Corner 